The Body Never Lies

We go through life in varying states of awareness. Sometimes we get so busy with our daily tasks that the job, or taking care of the children, or cooking or mowing the lawn seem like the only reality there is. They crowd out everything else. Sometimes we aren’t ready to cope with the pain or the fear waiting in the background, and we fill our life with activities to avoid the feelings we suspect might overwhelm us.

Sometimes we think to ourselves, when I have some down time, I’ll deal with that. I’ll cry later. I’ll wrestle with that decision when I have more energy. And that may work for a while.

But here’s the thing: Eventually, our bodies tell the truth. The body never lies.

My friend is dying. She’s okay. More than okay, really. She’s surrounded by the people who love her, by husband and children and grandchildren, by her mother and her friends and even a devoted former husband. She is physically comfortable. She’s made peace with leaving.

I’m not quite there, yet. I’ve been taking my turn sitting with her, and doing the things she wants me to do. She’s asked me to spend time with her mother, and to provide a listening ear for her husband. In particular, she’s asked me to support her in prayer as she makes this transition. I am doing all those things, as well as staying busy with my own work and family. I’m sad, but I’ve been thinking and telling people, I’ll grieve when she’s gone.

Night before last, I started having trouble breathing. I’d developed bronchitis, and was close to pneumonia. I ended up in the emergency room, and came home with antibiotics and some codeine to stop an otherwise uncontrollable cough.

My mind, the ego that manages my life processes, had been working to keep everything under control, suppressing my feelings until the appropriate time. But we can’t schedule grief and sadness, any more than we can schedule joy, or fear, or love.

In this human life, we occupy a physical body that is finely attuned to our emotions. Yes, we are mind (and that’s important, of course), but we are also emotion and body. And despite the best efforts of our minds, our bodies will always express our emotions. The body is the ultimate emotional barometer.

Every headache, every upset stomach, every little pain is a message from the body. It’s saying, pay attention to your feelings. When we ignore our feelings for a long time, we put ourselves at risk of greater bodily dysfunction.

I am rarely sick, but when I am, I can be sure my body is talking to me, communicating some important information. This weekend my body was telling me I must allow myself to feel my sadness. I must surrender to my grief. So I am listening. I am letting myself feel what is in my heart, now. And as I open myself to the wave of sadness, it flows through me. After a little while, it flows away. Another wave may follow, and if I remain open and receptive, out of resistance, that, too, will flow through me and away.

In my own life, and in working with clients, I’ve observed that it is not only the feelings we label as negative that we avoid. Often we don’t allow ourselves to fully experience joy and happiness, or pleasure. When we push away those feelings, how greatly we diminish our lives.

The more spontaneously I experience my emotions, the healthier my body is and the happier my life becomes. I want to honor my feelings, to honor myself, and to tenderly care for this body that houses me. I want to live a life rich in meaning and joy. In order to do these things, I must continually strive to remain conscious, and not just to occupy, but to fully embrace the now.