Recently a friend who is a strong advocate for gay rights (a cause I also hold dear) was talking about all the unfair circumstances and personal bias he has faced recently. This is a man who embraces his role as an advocate. He is a very good person who has always felt the need to fight hard against prejudice wherever he encounters it. In fact, his role as a defender is one of the main ways he defines himself as a human being. And lately it seems as though he’s more and more under attack by the very forces he opposes.
I can really identify with my friend, because for most of my adult life, I, too, have defined myself as an advocate. As a young person, I supported Civil Rights and worked against the war in Vietnam. I have marched and been an anti-war activist in all the conflicts since, and in other demonstrations against social injustice throughout the world.
Here’s the thing, however. If you are an advocate, and a defender, you must have something to defend against – and that means you must have something to fight. The position you take isn’t the issue; I have politically conservative friends who advocate on their own closely-held causes, very different than mine. The principle remains the same.
The Universe will always give us what we order. If we need something to oppose, The Universe will fill that order for us. The more we fight against a wrong, the more wrong we will see. The more vigorously we oppose an injustice, the more that injustice will appear around us and in our lives.
So in recent years, I have made a new choice. I choose to be autonomous. I choose to be self-directed. I’m not naive; I know evil and disharmony continue to exist in the world. But I choose to see good, to see harmony. If I am going to march, I will march not against war, but for peace. I will work, not against a wrong, but to support a right.
This new choice doesn’t just apply to the big, cosmic issues. It operates in my personal and business life. If I don’t feel a need to defend myself against the inefficiency of the electric company, I am more likely get an accurate bill. If I don’t believe I have to be on guard against business associates who want to cheat me, I will find myself surrounded by people of integrity.
When I was growing up, I was always puzzled by Jesus’s biblical instruction to turn the other cheek. In recent years, I have come to believe this is what He meant. We are most powerful when we are not spending our energy in resistance.