Looking back, it seems this summer has been an accumulation of challenges for me. June had its little difficulties, then July turned up the heat, and by the end of August, I was beginning to feel like a hamster on a wheel. At the beginning of September, I had one of those days where I felt blocked at every turn. I had a whole series of tasks laid out for myself, many of them designed to address the various frustrations of the past few months. But everything I did just turned to… well, you know. By one o’clock in the afternoon I was in tears.
Thirty years ago, I would have taken to my bed, weighed down by depression. Fifteen years ago, I would have been unable to take my attention away from all the things I desperately didn’t want to be experiencing. But I’ve been around the block a few times now, and I know what works.
So I let myself cry a few minutes (I’m not a very good crier anyway, so that never lasts long), then I called my girlfriend and whined for another ten minutes. While I did that, I let a part of my consciousness step back and observe, giving myself permission to express my frustration and disappointment. I reminded my friend I was just venting briefly, then I’d be okay again.
At no point did I tell myself any scary stories about what was happening. For example, I didn’t go to that place of, “Oh, crap, things are getting worse and worse. Nothing I do turns out right. Everything is falling apart and going to hell in a hand basket.”
In fact, when I’d honored and expressed my immediate emotions, I told myself an encouraging story: “This is just what’s happening in the moment. I don’t need to know why. I can trust the Universe that things are already improving. My life is always getting better and better, even when I can’t see it.”
I reminded myself that I am loved. God (feel free to insert your own concept of the Divine here) loves me. People close to me love me. I love myself.
As quickly as I was able, I reminded myself to reach for joy. I made a conscious decision to think about the things in my life for which I’m grateful . I thought of my husband, and my children and my grandchildren, and my wonderful friends. I thought about a work project that is exciting to me. I visualized how good I’m going to feel as my current challenges fall away. I remembered hard situations in the past that had worked out well.
My girlfriend, who is good at this stuff, encouraged me to identify one small positive action I could take toward resolving the issues I was facing. Not an action that guaranteed any kind of solution – in fact, it might not help at all, but it was a step I could take. So later that day, I followed her advice and took the step. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon nurturing myself. I took a nap. I had a bubble bath. I read a few chapters of an encouraging book. And every little while, I thought joyful thoughts.
The next day, the energy totally shifted. Answers started coming out of the blue, from entirely unexpected and unanticipated sources (or should I say “Source”?).
Over and over, my life has demonstrated that whatever I give my attention, I receive. If I focus my attention on the difficulty I’m experiencing in this present moment, the difficulty expands and new difficulties arrive. If I focus on feeling joy, joyful experiences come to me. It absolutely never fails.
Life isn’t always easy, and it’s natural for us to feel sorry for ourselves. But that only attracts more of what we don’t want.
I want joy. I really, really want a joyous life. So I’ve learned that in any situation, the more quickly I can move into joy, the faster the pain will go away.
No matter what the situation, joy is always the appropriate response. Because joy works.