Feeling My Way to a More Conscious Response


Today is September 11th, the thirteenth anniversary of the devastating 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers. As Americans remember that event, the country is about to enter yet deeper into conflict with ISIL, a terrorist organization that is perhaps the most dangerous we have ever faced. It is a time of remembering, sadness, anger, frustration, and as seems inevitable these days, political discord. I have always been interested in current events, something of a news and political junkie. Most of my life, I have been an activist, working for causes I felt were important. I am proud of that work, and I know it has value. Much of the social progress we have made over the history of the country has been sparked by activism. But as I get older, I find myself feeling my way to a more conscious response.

If I am living the full expression of my core beliefs, then I must acknowledge that every problem has a spiritual solution. And more and more, instead of raising my voice to be heard, and trying to convince other people of the rightness of my position, I am learning to turn inward and align my thinking and my actions with the spiritual solution.

After all, our old solutions are not working. War is spreading, not retreating. While 9/11 brought us together briefly, we soon broke apart. Friends and families have divided into political camps of left and right. The experiences of white and black people are so removed from each other, we might as well be living in parallel universes.

The spiritual solution is for me to change the way I think, and thus the way I feel. This is not new for me, but like all habit patterns, it requires practice. I am feeling my way toward a new response to everything I hear, everything I read, and everything I see on television, or around me.

Instead of needing to speak up every time, I am releasing my attachment to engaging in discord. I am breathing, and meditating, and letting go. I am bringing my attention much closer into my own immediate world, and noticing that in my little world, there is peace. I am paying attention to all the peace and joy around me. I believe that what I notice increases, certainly in my own experience, but also in the larger world.

I am loving myself, and making a decision to love other people, instead of judging them. After all, what does it matter if someone disagrees with me, or sees the world differently?  When the actions of other people seem reprehensible, I just notice that, let it go, and choose to love them anyway. If I can’t feel my way to doing that, then I stop thinking about them altogether.

Does this mean I don’t act when action can make a difference? Of course not. Nor does it mean I have withdrawn from the political process. I vote and sign petitions in support of causes. I respect those whose chosen work is government; they are charged with hard decisions. Each of us, in the appropriate way, renders to Caesar.

I am endeavoring to keep my mind clean, in the same way I choose, generally, not to eat food with chemicals that will make me feel bad. I want to feel good all the time, and I believe feeling good changes the energy in my world. From my little world, that pure energy can flow out to others.

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5 thoughts on “Feeling My Way to a More Conscious Response

  1. The rising of ISIS reminds me how politics and the so called problems of the world have not changed much, if at all. We just got finished watching the movie “Reds” and I was struck how seemingly stuck these problems of the world are and always have been.

    This is a revelation, because we don’t have to rant and rave about these eternal cycling scenarios that go round and round again. We just get to work and play with our own energy and keep our inner spiritual selves in tune and in harmony. The rest takes care of itself!

  2. You know Tolstoy said “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
    I’ve often thought and taught that if each of us would all think and act within our immediate circle of influence, affecting the things we have right around us, the whole world would become better.
    Thank you Jillian for reminding us that peace begins within and that our first responsibility is to love ourselves. Change can come as our consciousness expands beyond that which we have thought before.

  3. One of my favorite movies, Kate. And I agree; history provides us perspective, and reminds us that so many of the problems we see in the world are cyclical. I am thinking of several good friends who work feeding the hungry. Their work has tremendous value, but if they didn’t ground themselves in their spiritual lives, they would become overwhelmed.

  4. I had forgotten that quote, Cassandra! Thank you for reminding me. It is so true; we can do good in the world, but the only real control we have is within our own hearts.

  5. Changing ourselves is always the best bet. Learning that there are many totally disinterested in the task is the difficult part. It’s plain to me that “we all go together when we go”. We share a planet that the best of humankind wants to save, but many are impervious. All we can do to hold together is to make our own piece of it loving. I try to hold that space as much as I can, but sometimes it escapes me entirely and I want to pull a curtain over the whole horrid scene. I think you do a pretty good job of being peaceful.

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